a year's plan in the summer time.


an in time rain again. ^ last dusk I was chased by dogs. dirty old woman tried to defame me. in the night I should enjoy American TV dramas, but recent PRC banned lots of culture products overseas, claiming they against PRC's moral system. but I still find fun alone and idle. the rain didn't start when I went to bed, but in dawn its rhythm brought me dreams and peace. I dreamt as an intern in CCTV, PRC's assigned authoritative and dominative media. I interviewed by high rank cadre of the media tyrant & fear of clumsy. I indeed in dream of poor qualified, in fact felt miserably uncompetitive.then I did field survey of society, in minority area.a kid &his elder sister talk with us in their mountain village. they are funcy and cute. dad, God, so many burdens and hostility around my Royal China, so many protection U put us and stand us upright, God, I don't deserve a complaint for bareness nor dependence. the battle last long while I prone to homesick. God, dad, coming years more depressing in the economy as well as social and politics. God, guide me and my beloved through the warren and safe onto my promised land. God, dad, in this raining morning, with my girl Lyu's attending, I felt steady and inspired.


a blessing rain from my girl Lyu.^ this week felt extreme lucky. I got my own 5 letters domain, zhone.mobi, for my long time used namespace for my family, an alias of oneizh for whose logo I designed years ago. during hard time of PRC's sliding low economy, I cling to concrete asset like the domain, with which I gathered courage to buy 5 years at once. my debt this month amounts to near ¥2000, but I felt easier since last sunny day and moisture days follow. this week also especially long for PRC public calendar shift labor day vacation and made the workweek 6 days. My son hesitated to me when we reunited. later he explained last week I blamed he didn't try new video games hurt him. we soon enjoyed together again, with lots of game playing. I treated him Dico's lunch after more than a month's break for hard economy. the weekend can't be more splendid. this dawn I dreamt first helping my 2nd elder bro rip ghost from his son or grand son.then dream on a train, usually most jamming and noise and dirty travel method, we occupied a small space,say kitchen, and cozy.after a meeting, one Guy, Xiu haitao, a big build Guy among my Qrrs colleagues once loaned me to pursue master degree in Nankai Univ back to 1999, gave up and left the kitchen with his baggage. when I got up to pee, I felt afraid of ghosts. I soon boot up for breakfast in canteen. the rain too beautiful to miss. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. help me stroll over the hard time in sinking PRC and its tyrant party. fetch back our leisure life style with dicos meal, and online shopping once a week or monthly. thx dad, God. secure my cyberspace assets and ease my concern of their security.


dreamt exile. ^ First dreamt escape with General Chiang Kai-shek's army. Then dreamed with a German family. They live in the only tiny forest in Germany. their son tried to make friends during exile, make use of drug to feel better. his aunt, a girl, brings his parents to rescue him, forced his physical exercise in their yard. I liked the aunt in dream. after I scrabbled some of the dream and continued to sleep, I probed advantage of German. I played with the family, esp the father. Its a funny international labor day. my son expected it heartedly, for it includes movie "Captain America 2" in 3D cinema, steak lunch, visiting my dorm, and luxurious breakfast next morning in U.B.C coffee. it turned out really memorable. during the vacation I also claimed family 13th domain, riveryog.biz. its the only 8 letters domain we have. the .biz also enchants me so long. its all nice except hard finance weighted me lots. my eldest brother promised loan me ¥1000 while several days passed the tranaction didn't happen. I actually worried about draining out situation in my business. I hope I can break down barrier of debt, but it more and more shakes my confidence. God, I saw ur affirmative and uphold to it. God, dad, just let my work and life rolling like usual, smooth like deep river. God, I have lots to hope, but most in hurry is my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls, my Queens into my new family, and our children beautiful and gifted under new realm of my Empire of China, spans 1109 years follows.


dreamed of being a graduate and in love with a girl Lyu. ^ in dawn dream I just after national graduate exam, and enrolled by Jilin University, an ivy league campus. my crushed girl Lyu also will study there the same year and only us 2 enrolled by the Univ. the term. my major is Cg, computer graphics and post effect, with parents, which odd in both eyes of girl Lyu and mine. my 2nd elder bro accompanied me to report in open season. he hurried me to sleep same bed in dorm with him but I felt queer & rejected. a little girl slept on a bed near me talking me while her grandma ordered her leaving. they beat each other. I tried to save the crying girl,then wake up. Girl Lyu loves me too.her major now forgot. when I met her among our classmates, I felt so sweet and so is she. in the end of dream, we got to know the campus is not in down town but quite rural. God, this month salary arrived lately, 200 more than March's. thx for the gift. we still in debt of ¥1000 and more. I hope I can fix it with my salary in coming seasons as summer can be busier season and brings more products ordered for the SOE, QRRS, my once and long time employer. celebrating the salary quite impressive. I bought my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, toast duck as planned, we enjoyed it so much. next day I bought him persimmons after knew he missing it. handing in subscription for boarding and fruits went also quite smooth. sometimes only experienced hard time before you know normal life and its costs so important to be sustained. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens, Asoh Yukiko, girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW. thx for this blessing morning enacted me before 6am. thx for life comes so peaceful.


From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires


morning star shines over house of peace.


nap dream. ^ these days a bit boring while GFW blocking my news feeds. in the morning I napped again after breakfast. first I saw old thesis, competition between my dad's family and his eldest brother's, esp my eldest cousin's 3 sons, desperate chasers behind us. then in old nightmare, academic life, haunted me again. In Nankai University, I toddled among classrooms lonely, doubting if I should join to study there, till I found a building on a hill where a foreign teacher's family lives there. their kid, open door for me and likely includes my son, introduced us beautiful orchid his dad planted. the rest of dream evades me when I blogging. Its a sunny morning now. my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, recently adopted tool software, say, task management, besides pc games. I hope its a good start to improve his habit with digital gears, cast more light upon software development. God, its time to bid farewell for new month, the last of 2013. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girl LYu, Asoh Yukiko, girl TW, girl Zhou. bring my children on the way to this earth and world. God, dad, see me pleasure earthly in the rest of my life. thx dad.


being software engineer. ^ dreamed in dawn my alumnus, WangXionghui, entrusted me to develop a system for something like hotel management. I burned brain for structure of its database. then the IT director of QRRS, my once employer and a SOE, ZhouLaisheng, appeared, with his crew. they mostly major in computer science while I likely self-taught. that likely let me at a loss, among their party or team. then in a rich family, I likely was their child. I also develop something alone in my bedroom. then came a visitor, and talked about me. I then left the family through the lounge, bid farewell to the loving mom. then on seashore or mountain, I saw a kid girl played swing. when she swung to the highest, the rope broke and left her out in sky. the sudden accident is terrifying, but the girl landed safe onto the swamp, which thrills us.
today is a wonderful day. curious but anxious weekends passed in golden memories. I successfully persuaded my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, bought some ebook he likes online. by the way I attempted to demonstrate him free market, and wonder of free wish and purchase power. I also bought him a toy we didn't mean much in it, just show my son the ample of God's bliss. In public bathroom, my son lost more or less his comfort and confidence. but in outside way to return his mom's house, he resumed. I waited half hour before he complete his composition as homework, then we join video game, "how to survive", with which we walk-through before we headed to lunch out and shower. he want to expand his joys and glory in the compliment of the game, ie. feeding all side tasks in the game. now I shared online in my dorm with him on the other side the moment and speed of cyberspace. God, dad, let it grows and meaningful forever.


1st snow in 2013 winter. ^ last week witnesses another anxious but safe reunion with my dearest son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe. geese hotpot, he ordered several weeks ago, delayed so long for the restaurant underwent realignment, arrived, replaced with beef hotpot finally. we enjoyed it very much, even we had to ask a waiter to mix cuisine among its buffet style hotpot. even my salary increased 300 RMB and more last month, my purse left nothing this morning and I had to borrow ¥20 from dorm canteen operator for buying raisin from street paddler on way my lunch before I visit my son this dusk. this week I also napped a lot, likely bored by constrain surrounds me. this dawn I dreamed a lot. in last scene I with my son or person I concerned passing a stadium where an International teenage football game ongoing. I crossed the fence alone and watched closely outside of the realm, luckily kicked twice the ball toward me.dad, God, recently every night I went to bed I felt so lucky and meaningful when call it a day. God, bring me sooner my girls, my girl LYu, Asoh Yukiko, gilr Taiwan, girl Zhou, to enrich my life earthly. blessing my son's gaming experience in video game with me. thx dad God.


dreamt of my passed mother and aunt. ^ those days I reviewed a lot my sexual history. previously I was anxious about my sexual excellence, but in review I found I always been succeeded. thx God, I don't jealous anyone now. this dawn I dreamed first building house among my university alumni, under surveillance of the mentor we tried all to be diligent. I immersed among them, help they get mud and final touch to the project. then dreamed in my hometown, ie. in my passed aunt's house, I trying to switch radio to a digital or video or 3g channel, other from traditional radio channels. when I tried to plug into the socket, the notorious bad temper aunt entered the room, so I had to try to explain what I doing on her property to the selfish woman. then my passed mother and my 2nd elder sister also appear. my sister told me my eldest brother also has a newer radio has the additional function. I replied my less brilliant brother would miss the merit out, from a traditional radio for his favorite radios as a work companion. he is a builder. Its likely another great morning, with golden sunshine over the top of trees in the dorm garden. God, dad, bring me sooner my girls, my private harmonious life. God, these days I saw a lot my girl TW, we are ready for a new family. thx, dad God.
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
tags: #God #AsohYukiko #life #love #Son


homeless from past to now, to passed.


stay with son.^ son's mom, a mean woman, now more and more turned depending on our son, and even worse, poised girl's charm in front of my son instead of a mother's. recently she also invited me to eat watermelon in her house, showing ill will that we reunite from the broken marriage since 2006 when she insisted then. God, permit my freedom far from any plots of the small woman. last night when I settled in dorm after visited my son and invited him tried new games, including "plants vs zombies 2" for android which just released yesterday, when I watching American episode "Carrie's diary" and seeking insight coincident in my son's growth, it rained outside. in the night I roamed and reviewed my son's situation quite awhile, before went to bed. I knew no one can predict my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, his future, his rebellion youth, his independent world view, but God's will guides, and I will stay near him for parenthood. in dawn dream, I clearly with my son experienced challenge in life. we held together to face uncertainty. God, thx for so long I can offer my service to my son, Hope of China, God of Universe, rid me anxious upon his growth, also his zeal upon future social perspective. dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, esp. Asoh Yukiko, warrenzh's mother from Japan, attends properly our son with love of mother. God, thx for the peaceful morning sunshine now.


Dream of befriending a cat.^yesterday a bit busy :patch my Window os. I in dawn dreamed play with a tiger or panther in front of my pals. I believe I can communicate with its soul, so I just laid and show my back to it on its usual appearing road. It works: we play together and corporate in hunting. It's also my first time try SwiftKey, so nice as a input tool. God, thanks for beast soul. Dad, sooner bring my Royal China for my wider audience, for closer my task here. God, guide me talk to my son more effective, lead him into holy spiritual sooner, once and forever. ThX God dad!


normal life shared with son starts.^ last week a bit busy. my son and me enjoyed new video game very much. he immersed in "castle storm" with great interest, while I relentlessly trying various new games from stock. yesterday I dreamed in dawn my senior middle school alumnus, Wanglewen, who buzzed me once when my alumni from Huanggang middle school collectively trying to help me out of my current shabby financial situation, led me and shown how hard he with his wife finding job and making livings. we meet aside Yangtze river and I in dream felt better clinching to my current status, leisure even low currency. this dawn I dreamed closely watched a Taiwan woman entrepreneur, likely HTC founder Miss Wang, operating her business. God, thx for recent exciting new video games. bring me sooner my Royal China to show my son and myself the difference between real world and digital virtual world. dad, thank u for perfection vein in our blood.


a spectacular day. ^ yesterday is marvelous. I ate breakfast in canteen in dawn. dorm is cool & uncomfortable when window is open. then my QRRS office informed me to fetch a shirt they dispatched, likely for annual sports game event. afternoon sunshine arrived. I dozed in warm sunshine and dreamed educating my nephew, Zhaikang, spiritual wakeup. the dream interrupted by 2nd buzz from office. this time I got a bonus of ¥400. visiting son with those gifts before dusk and we immersed in video games after his dinner and homeworks, till near 8pm I returned to dorm. this dawn I dreamed lots of erotic scenes, including a girl I concerned ported in my passed dad's house. her clothes missing and I insisted half-naked to enter room to see her. the only store in the village refused to sell us clothes to put up the girl who accompanied by my 2n elder sister in the room. there once a girl ported in my old family a night, when I studied in Huanggang middle school, a mightily academic smart girl, a LYu, now a professor in virus, invited my host in the summer vacation but never back to me in the rest of my senior middle school. Its a sunny morning. God, thx for these beautiful days. bring me sooner my Royal China and closer to my dreams. dad, God, please allow my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, make full use of his digital gears, ie. his fonepad, kindle. let me pave way for his virtual world tours.


Dream of shooting movie.^ In deep dawn dream I told Wang Xionghui, my high school and campus aluminum, my plan to direct a youth movie from our elite senior middle school life,our passionate classroom plots. he listened carefully on dorm bed, shared memory of classmates and teachers. yesterday busy with blogging and now saw the light. God, thx warmth in people heart around me. affirm me in new adventure ahead.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze


as glorious as early summer 2013.


dreamed of missing warrenzh. ^ last weekend really marvelous. we first time ate lunch at dico's, for the fake franchise, California beef noodle, 2nd time made strange food for my son as my son smelled last weekend. I knew my usual open mind hurt the stupid restaurant operator, a small man from Shichuan, southwestern China. these weeks my budget pinching us a lot, for last month I spent more than my poor salary affords, left ¥600 debt to dorm canteen. QRRS canteen also felt hurt and tentatively ruined my ordered dishes, so I will have to find alternative lunch elsewhere. we also made proud progress among our beloved video games. warrenzh 朱楚甲, dearest son, even attracted by shooting game I learning to master and asked for trying together. the weather turning brilliant, after almost a week's rains. I alo got a bonus for past dragon boat holiday, 200 RMB even strangely handed over by the sinful departmental monitor lately and didn't show me the sheet nor my signature. last night I watched English episode, Downton Abbey, which tells coincidence between lovers upon life threat by sudden chill. this dawn I first time dreamed a chill and found my son missing in public spa, where yesterday we showered together. my son lost one of our reserving box's key and let me panic. even the barber helped me find out, I scorned my son for his clumsiness. God, I know threats and hostiles against my Royal China. God, dad, proves the untouchable glory and grace of my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls to welcome my new children. God, thx for the morning sunshine peaceful outside.


longest rain in my 22 years' Qiqihar life. ^ sinful PRC again in 3 days' dragon boat holiday. the canteen out of service again, and I had to be starve without extra budget for dinner. my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, again brought by his thief mom to Longsha park even quite boring there. I waited half hour outside of her house before I reunited with my son. warrenzh likely affected by his evil mom a lot, reluctant to play video game and against my disclose of his mom's sins. in the night I alone fought 3 hours a pc game "Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit", which I reckoned very suit my son, but he refused to try new adventure in it, till my sinful 2rd elder sister called in arranging my son's visit in coming summer vacation to my kid brother in southern China, with free flight my brother pays. after gave up the pc game, my wrath gathered and gradually poured out. I scorn my son's laziness, coward in front responsibility, his dependence to his dark mother who is so cheap and bitch, and a thief constantly begging vicious in dark to continue to destruct my son and me, my Royal China. I told my son he will benefit a lot from video games, and my accompanying him in video games, while his mom's assignments, like e-piano, such a chore bored my son so long, and endless homeworks under falling PRC's higher education, wouldn't offer opportunity but doom. the dirty small woman first laid together with my son when I immersed in game, then listened my scorn in her bedroom when I summoned my son in the room has computer, but not for my son, rather just for the devil grandma's guests. I previously revealed to my son his mom's house don't prepare his space, but for the grandma's. he never has his bed, nor his desk, reading space. when I referred piano, the dwarf can't afford and rushed in, fetched my son away, proved secret linkage the lesbian woman with son's piano tutor, a woman I once met when I fetched my son from his mom's office. I more and more sensed a sin circle the dwarf woman, a desperate stupid junior middle school teacher, gathering around. every moment she sucks dark power from dirty and poisonous cheap novels from Chinese online community, in her lazy life supported by her pompous mother frequent here, or even when she tutored pupils home. God, I don't want list all sins the bitch adopted, I just want keeping sanity of my Royal China, including my son, warrenzh. God, Islamic enemies just in house, in the dirty woman once womb of my son. the pervert in desperate defense of her manure piles.
when I left to avoid the woman who caught my son to wash to sleep defying my teaching over my son, and her fraud accusations, It drizzled outside. in dorm I watched "downton abbey" which so nice and demonstrate faulty woman's curse, then it rained harder. all night it rained and turns torrent in dawn when I lingered on bed in dreams. I dreamed in campus I returned and found my pants and shoes shared by other roommates. XiaoJindong, a guy from my hometown province Hubei and committed suicide years ago after graduated from Nankai Univ then in long time jobless, took away my shoes. 2 black woman in charge of the dorm. and we have International students among us in dorm. I likely dreamed of my son, also my love and girls in dawn dream. God, rid my son sin of his mom, with her old family, a long time drawback of my grace. God, u know untouchable glory of ur son on the earth. God, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son, my kids arriving. thx for the plenty of rain in seasons changing.


a most outraged rainstorm in my 22 years in Qiqihar. ^ last night full of peace even in the toughest rainstorm. I visited my son as usual, but he was fetched away by his mom. the dark grandma open the door and I read history of bible on my son's kindle till he returned. we enjoyed video games so much till his mom scorned us for late around 9pm. it rained since we immersed in pc games. but when I returned to my QRRS dorm by bus, the after rain sky full of fresh air. when I settled to watch English episode "downton Abbey" the rain resumed and cats and dogs. the thunders and rain rhythm covered my notebook's speaker and ignited my children era's dread in face of nature power. I busy online till near 11am. I dreamed a lot about my girl LYu, with whom we survived together. the dream so vivid that I wanted to get up to blog, but the after rain dawn too sweet to leave dream. then I dreamed with my kid brother or another close concerned person in Nankai Univ canteen, we starved and had to play tricks to survive. God, dad, so beautiful this morning is! bring me sooner my first wife in my Royal China, girl LYu, so now should be a graduate and I admire so much, bring me my Royal China to cater to my son and offspring arriving. grant us video game equipment update this month! thx, dad God.


dreamed of lots of old contacts, and loan. ^ in dawn dream my passed parents appeared. I stroked by huge demonstration that good fortune brings in constants, IE. as long as within fix total, three members can be fraction, smaller fraction to keep other members larger, which means lives, resources and so on, than expected. that's God's reveal to me, and how lucky I am in bliss. then dreamed my campus friends, like my Tibetan friend from Tianjian fine art college and his classmates, I asked them to cooperate with me to resolve my difficulty. we planned together in a house in a town and asked them to trust me and act prompt in order. then in hot summer in my once workplace, the TV studio of QRRS, I bought a Chinese folding fan with my fortune referred above, the monitor and anchorwoman admired and asked for information. last night I contacted again my kid brother in southern China to borrow money to replace our pc game gears, including gamepad and wireless keyboard/mouse pack. he refused to answer me. that's suck for he is online in QQ, a Chinese mainstream IM but kept mute. I saw failure and dark taste in him. God, grant us to upgrade our video game equipment, let us stay in life enjoyable in the drifting and sinking sinful PRC before ending tragedy of the doomed monster. bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son and offspring arriving. thx God, dad.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze


fine weather except sands in spring wind.


dreamed joined politics. ^ in dawn dream my passed mother urged me, saying she will leave the world in 3 or 5 years and that hurts me almost woke up. I then campaigned for congressman till being a senate and my brother in congress. then in an office a woman in QRRS, my once long time employer, also a girl from Hunan, southern China, holding a higher rank and meeting with me and some other guys included another graduate from Xinjiang, western China, we same year enrolled by QRRS in 1991. I felt bitter in the office for I once refuted possible intimacy with the Hunan girl. God, so many precious moments U granted me with my son, so many settlements U shown me the grace of my Royal China. but still recently I felt upset by falling black society under PRC, sinful explosive dog state. mafias everywhere among civilian. brutal and depressing reality filing hope of common Chinese. God, refill me with confidence in ur presence, testifies glory of throne under my title in Zhu's. God, dad, future in this loveable sunshine outside tells. God, thx dad.


dreamed as an educator. ^ dreamed first worked among professors, encouraged them to be ready for liberation. then close lived with the Court, taught them self-reliance. then as a tutor with a prince and his 2 wives, prepared them transit to common people. Its a sunny morning. QRRS, my once long time employer, still in holiday and I had to find myself meals. last afternoon I visit my son even his mom ordered should not. I prepared him new video games before he returned for his school, while the dirty grandma allowed me enter her daughter's house. but his mom desperately ruined our happy time in game together. the cheap bitch claimed I ruin my son, and I never replied her as usual against her countless accusations. when she forced my son leave me again after homeworks and piano practices, I told my son what is important is he watch and learn in his own justice eyes between devil and goodness. I also told my son I was happy in my life and urged him being happy. God, see through my son in the insanity of his mom's family, among brutal PRC nowadays where mafias thick like lice. God, dad, preserve my longing for girls, for natural beauty.


dreamed as babysitter. ^ PRC adopted western holiday while maintain lunar calendar, IE. most of its holiday present in fixed monthly date rather than week. that hurt me much for canteen then out of service. I had to spend more on meals, quite some cased I had to starve. I blamed this due lazy Chinese and their obsession with end day's escape of their private circle. but not so miserable this labor day holiday. QRRS, my once long time employer, sent me a holiday bonus of ¥300, which lets us enjoy the leisure time together with delicious food and meaningful activities. my son previously suggested to watch again 3d movie, so we did. warrenzh 朱楚甲 also suggested to dine after cinema, even I seriously concerned security in late night, but we did catch last dinner in Golden Hans toast buffet around 8pm and enjoyed rich food there very much. we almost didn't wait 2 taxi when usually taxi in Qiqihar too busy to catch. whole night I rearranged quilt for son once lest he extend body out of cover in risk of cold, and we slept sound. I had to nap again after woke up and setup to allow my son played game on my notebook alone. my son first time lingered in my dorm later than 10am. on way we dined in KFC which so satisfying. his mom forced me to retreat after we gamed awhile in her house. I visited my son again near 4pm. his mom had visiting guests and dined together but didn't invite me under same roof. I rendered that's sinful. returned to dorm, I treated myself instant noodle and bread. this dawn I dreamed worked in a big house with another servant and a woman servant. the boy baby asked me to pick a lobster for him when we explored a seashore. there some elders watched us and gabbled. God, dad, please bring me sooner my Royal China, to home my son. bring me new family to enrich life on the earth.


dreamed of talent. ^ so we are in Labor Day holiday now. I had to find my meals out of canteen in coming 3 day in sinful PRC labor day holiday. this dawn dreamed of a talent musician, likely the composer of PRC's anthem. I tried to research his talent. after released bladder I dreamed something about my usual academic nightmare. then dream a family in my hometown village, Zhudajiu. the family is a close kin related to us, and their house close to my dad's. the parents even lately operated worship for villagers, after my passed dad's spiritual wakeup, but they r cheap. I dreamed in their house the guy, a pal when I grew there 3 decades ago, trying to chess me. I asked to keep the chessboard waiting my free later. the mother of the family bragged her grandson's smart while I busy with dealing something. Its a cloudy morning. Godfather, my son grows in a stage in need of friends. God, blesses him with friends and challenges that training or meaningful. God, u see our reunion this dusk, even our original plan ruined by his revengeful cheap Chinese mother, grant us happy moment now and then. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to cater my son's need of home. thx dad.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze


seemingly a cozy holiday season.


a strange dream. ^last night I visited my son &had good time immersed together in video games. this dawn dreamed with my cousin, Zhuwusong, in our hometown village, Zhudajiu, voluntarily donate blood. then I visit a digital tech company, impressed by their digital door keeper gears, inc computers managed card reading, and 3D animation workstations, which is my previous job. then with the cousin leaded by teachers or group, we voluntarily donate sperm. we dissected fields and choose woman in it. I managed to pick healthy and attractive woman for breeding but the cousin let me hurry. the dorm's water heat again less satisfactory, chilled me up. Its a peaceful sunny morning now. God, bring sanity to my son's living environment. bring sooner my Royal China to allow me home my son, and my sons and daughters arriving.


warrenzh's first skate in 2012. ^ this weekends reunion sweeter in our hearts, for I told my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, that I prepared to live him alone with me, away from his mom's dirty and poisonous seductive home life. last Friday afternoon I visit my son when his school is in break. my son was arranged by his mom to do homework while the bitch grandma, herself a dummy stone intelligently, supervised my son. I so picked to busy on my notebook away till found the cheap grandma selling sexually to my son. so I hauled &scorned &cursed. my son soon quit his homework and played pc games with me and made proud progress in it. in the night in my dorm, I saw my son's dirty environment, so I made a decision to allow my son choose if live under my custody, in my shabby dorm room. in the weekends we ate beef noodle warrenzh chosen, showered in the public bathroom he picked. I urged times and times that in God's world he obliged to nobody, liable to nobody around him serving him. he several times let me shut up but God knows its clearer those freaky women back to what hell they from. In Sunday afternoon it starts to snow again so warrenzh went to skate as his mom suggested. he had good time on the ice ground. God, isn't it saved and blessed?
these days I also dreamed of my kid brother several times, reviewing our brotherhood in dream. this morning I again dreamed of Nankai Univ, where I attending a seminar and trying present my thesis. quite some alumni appeared there in my dawn dream. God, grant us a happy Christmas holiday, enrich our life with due season gifts. God, bring sooner my Royal China.


memorable weekends reunion. ^ last weekend descended after I looked forward it for more than a week. my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, descended to visit my QRRS dorm, first time after salary's shrink. we dined in KFC, also a toast stick from nearby restaurant where I last time rebuffed for loan to eat there. of cause we played video games. my son, Hope of China, God of Universe, shown likeness to stay with me, which let me sorry, and his mom's short of hospitality. last night I watched a Taiwan loving idol TV episode lately near 1am, burningly touched by spirit and inspiring faith of love in the story. God, u show me the merit of American and Japanese girls. God, so many meanings in the show for my concerns. God, allow me do more things i liked to make life better around me and people in my life. God, dad, thx u for this brilliant morning sunshine, and bring sooner my Royal China, so as to allow me home my son, my sons and daughters to arrive, in ur shine&grace cozily. Thx dad.


dreamed of sky-skiing with son. ^ dreamed my grand father eyes on us all time, with love. I fought in team of my dearest son against pests, like the video game we played last dusk. then we damaged something of my neighbor's, likely in my hometown, Zhudajiu village. then we skyskiing with hot air balloon. son steers while i hanged under my son. near before landing I was allowed to pilot it, and landing near our town. God, son's mom plotting against my weekends reunification with my son, God, thrust the evil, deflate it. grant me new shoes in the winter, son's ebook reader before year end. thx, God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China and show my son the true family life we deserve.


2nd snow in winter. ^ yesterday I enjoyed video game with my son so immersed. on way to dine out, I told him why girl Lv will be my first wife: the first girl, LvSongya, descended to honor me by visiting my family in my life back to my junior middle school. after showered, we found 2nd snow shallowly covered the ground. so I told my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, story of my eldest sister, ZhuXuezhen (means essence of snow in Chinese), who committed suicide when I was a junior middle school student by jumping into Yangtze River in deep dawn, likely after dispute with her husband. I admire her so much and proud of her, like our grand father did. in the night in dorm, my favorite TV series, "The good wife", telling a law suit of suicide. God, u know how I gracious I am in ur arms. God, dad, so many people, esp ur first kid and ur 3rd son, witness and benefit from ur Goodness. God, this morning I again dreamed with my son, warrenzh, so harmoniously. he covered me again in dream lingering. God, bring me sooner my Royal China in shine of God!


dreamed of genius. ^ yesterday admitted to my son its my fault to unease with him who under God's guide, for after compared myself, grateful &intact even after dishoner God put on me trapped in asylum 4 times and a pare of infectious eyes. son likely welcome it heartedly. in dawn dreamed of a proven kid genius, who calculates big math question easily. later found the young genius in fact my dearest son, who turned so friendly to me and protected me with his smartness. its a pale morning, but God, I look forward ur promise, grant us a ebook reader, bring closer my Royal China.

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shiny start over decaying delay.


pale morning. ^ this dawn I had a long dream, in which my 2nd elder sister gossiped with me, teasing daughter and son of our eldest brother's. after getup, I reviewed 2 professors, both dog, still in Nankai Univ, where I was abused when I sought degree there. this week I first time in the winter put on woolen pants and felt well. yesterday Obama won his 2nd session as American President and today sinful CCP open its 18th national party congress. God, u let us endure and see through the devil's play. God, we all look forward to ur choice, no matter how harsh it was. God, grant me let go my worn out shoes, grant my son a Kindle paperwhite ebook reader in year end 2012! these days I was buffeted by foreseeable weakening economy in PRC, God, save my Royal China among blizzard upon sinking PRC sieged by ghost of Marxism, or spies of Russian. God, bring me sooner my Royal China!


dreamed of Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan. ^ I blog it at 4:49AM: I clearly dreamed of Asoh, my 2nd wife from Japan, with who we study politics in Nankai Univ together for a year back to 2000 or so when I pursued master degree there. Asoh in dream very kind to kid, esp our son. she really got me home in dream. God, u witness how I honored. thx, God dad.


dreamed again my troubled campus. ^ dreamed in dawn I got already passport for master degree. for discreet I didn't bring it with me when I was accompanied by my good friend (my dearest son? ) and my kid brother visiting Wuhan University, where I was enrolled. the campus quite big and crowded and I inspired by my campus life in veiw. but unfortunately we blocked by administrator of master degree candidates dorm, who asked to check in my passport. that was quite frustration, but better than my haunting nightmare that my academic record went bankrupted. Its to be a sunny morning. God, thx for the vivid dream.


dreamed of playing harmoniously with son.^ recently too many beautiful moments with my son immersed in pc games, also more exhausted on bed before getup. this dawn dreamed in my hometown village, zhudajiu, where son of my cousin's wedding ceremony holding. our family blood related even but hatred &disgust thicken between. the bride insisted counting on me and my kid brother while the bridegroom resentful to us. later dreamed my son with me trying tighten loose cogs with toolbox I gathered from online shopping and reward of a voluntary blood donation, with my lead. Its almost first time my son so harmoniously accompanies me without my notice. we really enjoy our gatherings more and more in the Autumn and winter. God, bring me my Royal China soon, grant my son a ebook reader. in this early morning I bestow ur promise, dad.


dreamed of the new Nobel literature winner.^ last afternoon I saw my son returned from his mom's hometown journey and fine, after waited near 2 hour outdoor. we played games. I told my son my salary decreased this month and urged him to be prepared for coming hard time in Chinese economy. we showered and relaxed. this dawn dreamed of the first record Nobelist literature, Moyan (means no say or no disclose literally in Chinese), the disgusting bureaucracy and star propaganda of CCP, from lying and shamelessly conceited PRC. in dream he chased & threaten crowd, likely inc me in dream, in aiming not to uncover his dark records or history of his life. Its a sunny morning now, God, grant us an elegant life, esp. enjoyable food &dinner, grant my son, Hope of China, God of Universe, a Kindle paperwhite ebook reader. God, bring me sooner my Royal China and prosperous Royal China!


dreamed of Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan.^ son's mom this noon brought him to join a marriage celebration in her hometown. I felt sleepy, and dozed after trying busy some time. dreamed of Asoh Yukiko attending me. she is so courteous. her mother and my mother also appeared in dream. the dream last quite some time but when I setup to blog it, its vivid avoids me now. its a sunny day, esp. the afternoon when I napped. God, grant my son a kindle paperwhite ebook reader. bring me my Royal China, and my sons and daughters.


1st snow in winter 2012. ^ It drizzled since last noon. I ate full in QRRS canteen &satisfied. then I visit son as scheduled. his school breaks in Tuesday afternoon. the rain wet my shoes and baptized me. my son and me made proud progress in game "borderlands 2". in the night returned to my dorm, I thanks given in reviewing, from Heaven, from my son. the night I enjoyed watching American TV series, in which sound American law system demonstrates so detailed &clear. in dawn dreamed my family and my passed father, God in Heaven now. I likely at least have 4 daughters, 2 sons & a grandson in the age in the dream. we had a business, selling something on the street. my grand father cared my grandson, who is so lovable, kindly. &this morning when son's mom called in about her wireless mouse, I found snow covers roofs outside. last night I peeked through window, found snowflake but can't image a snow weather, nor 1t snow in Oct, 2012. It's harvest season, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, grant my son a kindle paperwhite ebook reader. God, see me my girls praying for me, for our promised future!

From 2012 on the way to rejoin
From 2012 on the way to rejoin
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